You ever hear the saying "If it wasn't for bad luck you wouldn't have any luck at all"? In my house that's not just a saying, it's a life motto. I've mentioned before that I am a disaster magnet and it's true. I am the very definition of Murphy's Law. If something can go wrong, it will. No question. In fact, I've decided to institute a new feature to my blog. I'm calling it "Flashback Friday". On Fridays, I will post assorted stories from my past ...
Ordinary Me
For Hire
For Hire:A slacker mom who, due to a lack of vision by her previous employers, was not recognized as the genius that she is. She has years of experience in customer service, managerial duties and putting up with corporate crap. Also highly qualified as a doormat.Slacker mom has many sought after skills and talents such as:Excellent at photographing things that don't move--a perfect skill for those needing a morgue photographer or want someone to ...
One Flew Right Into the Cuckoo’s Nest
Have I ever told you that I once drove myself to a "Mental Health Facility" and wasn't entirely sure that I would be allowed to leave? If you've never heard about that whole incident, you're out of luck--it's a story for another time.But lately I've been thinking about mental hospitals. Specifically, I've been considering checking into one. Seriously. I think they've gotten a bad rap over the years. I've been doing a little research and I've ...
Why I Will Never Be Allowed in the PTA
Classic Slacker Mom situation. I just got off the phone with the secretary of the elementary school that my kids are going to be attending. School starts in 2 weeks and after searching the website I realized I can't actually register them today as I had planned. See, I still don't have my TX driver's license. I've been waiting to get it until I knew where we were going to be living. It looks like we may have found a rental house but we haven't ...
It’s Not #@!% PMS!
You know what I hate? I hate it when you're having a bad day or maybe you're just a little grumpy and the man in your life just assumes it has to be PMS. Like you're not allowed to be less than chipper. If you aren't a glowing ray of sunshine than it must be some kind of hormonal thing. How incredibly sexist is that?You know what I hate more than that? When they're right.Yesterday was not the best day for me. I had to get up at 6 in the morning ...
Tomorrow? Marker Safety Classes
Sassy has the most beautiful blue eyes. Except for today. Today they started out sort of bloodshot and I thought maybe she just hadn't had enough sleep. As the day progressed, they started to get...pinker. She battles allergies so I gave her a Zyrtec and figured she'd be fine. Not quite. Her left eye went from being slightly pink to flaming red. Great. As visions of pink eye and stys (sties?) flashed through my head, I called up the doctor. It ...
If It Wasn't For The Last Minute…
I am definitely a works-well-under-pressure kind of gal. Most of that is by necessity as I put everything off until the last minute and have no choice but to get everything done under a serious time crunch. It's been this way my entire life. There was never any "preparing" for tests. There was only cramming the night before and remembering all the useless info just long enough to ace the test and then forgetting it all immediately after.The funny ...
You Can't Rely on Dogs
I thought I would share with you another slice of my disaster magnet life. Again, let me stress that I am an intelligent, highly capable, somewhat educated woman. But for some reason, minor disasters seem to follow me everywhere. I'm like the Pied Piper for mishaps and mayhem. This particular event happened when I was pregnant with Bubba and I was given a baby shower over at my mom's house. After it was over, I started loading all my goodies and ...
Mommy Has Left The Building
After tucking the kids in last night, MC came downstairs and said, "Bubba said you wanted to talk to me about something?" In our house this typically means that one of the kids is trying to finagle their way into being allowed to do something which I must then debate with MC. My response to this particular request was, "Huh, wha? I'm supposed to be talking to you about something?" I had no clue what it was we were supposed to be discussing. I ...
A Day That Ends In Y
I woke up the other day and dragged my tired body upstairs to find that my wonderful MC had set my water kettle on for my tea. How sweet and thoughtful he is! Except...he turned the wrong burner on. Instead of turning on the back burner where the kettle was, he turned on the front burner...where my Pampered Chef rectangle stone sat. "That can't be good," I thought in all my brilliancy. So I tried to push it off the burner. That push was all it ...