Ah, January. A new year, a fresh start, a clean slate. The time when people everywhere take stock of their lives and make vows to change that which they are not pleased with. It's time for the New Year's Resolution. I have to be honest with you, I haven't been the greatest at resolutions. It's not that I'm bad at keeping them, I just don't generally make them to begin with. But a new year means a new me, right? What would a new year be without a ...
Ordinary Me
Hanging Out
The pity party is over. The streamers are down, the mess has been cleaned up, the furniture is righted and put away. When things get stressful for me, I cry and rant and rave and generally act like a 2 year old who's been denied a favorite toy. But I get it all out of my system and move on. Unfortunately, my blog gives me an outlet that won't talk back, interrupt, offer useless platitudes or even tell me to suck it up, which leaves you all to ...
Who Allowed Murphy to Make a Law Anyway?
You ever hear the saying "If it wasn't for bad luck you wouldn't have any luck at all"? In my house that's not just a saying, it's a life motto. I've mentioned before that I am a disaster magnet and it's true. I am the very definition of Murphy's Law. If something can go wrong, it will. No question. In fact, I've decided to institute a new feature to my blog. I'm calling it "Flashback Friday". On Fridays, I will post assorted stories from my past ...
For Hire
For Hire:A slacker mom who, due to a lack of vision by her previous employers, was not recognized as the genius that she is. She has years of experience in customer service, managerial duties and putting up with corporate crap. Also highly qualified as a doormat.Slacker mom has many sought after skills and talents such as:Excellent at photographing things that don't move--a perfect skill for those needing a morgue photographer or want someone to ...
One Flew Right Into the Cuckoo’s Nest
Have I ever told you that I once drove myself to a "Mental Health Facility" and wasn't entirely sure that I would be allowed to leave? If you've never heard about that whole incident, you're out of luck--it's a story for another time.But lately I've been thinking about mental hospitals. Specifically, I've been considering checking into one. Seriously. I think they've gotten a bad rap over the years. I've been doing a little research and I've ...
Why I Will Never Be Allowed in the PTA
Classic Slacker Mom situation. I just got off the phone with the secretary of the elementary school that my kids are going to be attending. School starts in 2 weeks and after searching the website I realized I can't actually register them today as I had planned. See, I still don't have my TX driver's license. I've been waiting to get it until I knew where we were going to be living. It looks like we may have found a rental house but we haven't ...
It’s Not #@!% PMS!
You know what I hate? I hate it when you're having a bad day or maybe you're just a little grumpy and the man in your life just assumes it has to be PMS. Like you're not allowed to be less than chipper. If you aren't a glowing ray of sunshine than it must be some kind of hormonal thing. How incredibly sexist is that?You know what I hate more than that? When they're right.Yesterday was not the best day for me. I had to get up at 6 in the morning ...
Tomorrow? Marker Safety Classes
Sassy has the most beautiful blue eyes. Except for today. Today they started out sort of bloodshot and I thought maybe she just hadn't had enough sleep. As the day progressed, they started to get...pinker. She battles allergies so I gave her a Zyrtec and figured she'd be fine. Not quite. Her left eye went from being slightly pink to flaming red. Great. As visions of pink eye and stys (sties?) flashed through my head, I called up the doctor. It ...
If It Wasn't For The Last Minute…
I am definitely a works-well-under-pressure kind of gal. Most of that is by necessity as I put everything off until the last minute and have no choice but to get everything done under a serious time crunch. It's been this way my entire life. There was never any "preparing" for tests. There was only cramming the night before and remembering all the useless info just long enough to ace the test and then forgetting it all immediately after.The funny ...
You Can't Rely on Dogs
I thought I would share with you another slice of my disaster magnet life. Again, let me stress that I am an intelligent, highly capable, somewhat educated woman. But for some reason, minor disasters seem to follow me everywhere. I'm like the Pied Piper for mishaps and mayhem. This particular event happened when I was pregnant with Bubba and I was given a baby shower over at my mom's house. After it was over, I started loading all my goodies and ...